Attack Of The Sweeps

Halloween is over, and the scary season is just starting. It's November sweeps!
Time for "new life-saving information to keep your family safe!" Thursday at 11!
Time for a story about lapses in our house arrest system. Bad guys on the loose?
Time to dig up the Carrie Culbertson story one more time, at 11 p.m. Thursday,, right after "Without A Trace."
Yes, sweeps start Thursday.
You can tell, because Carrie Culbertson is news once again, more than 11 years after her murder. This wasn't news in October... and won't be news in December. But since it's November sweeps -- the crucial four-week ratings period for TV stations, which will help establish advertising rates and revenues -- it's time to do another story about the Blanchester women who vanished Aug. 29, 1996. "How far will her mother and investigators go to find her remains?" Film at 11 p.m. Thursday.
You can tell its sweeps because Channel 9 is starting a contest for viewers to win a free trip to see the Oprah Winfrey show. All you've got to do is watch Oprah every day 4-5 p.m. during sweeps, Nov. 1 to Nov. 28 for the word of the day.... and then stay tuned and watch the 5 p.m. news on Channel 9 for the cue to call. (Betcha the word of the day won't be "bribery.") Yes, the 5 p.m. news war is still on, and the three local news stations will do all they can to build their 5 p.m. audience. (A story that will never make the Top 5 at 5.)
And stay tuned to Channel 9 at 11p.m. for Killer! Smoke! Detectors! "Your working smoke detector may not alert you to the deadliest kind of fire." But Clyde Gray will alert you. He's on your side. He's on "the Tristate's only high-definition station," as they say. (Doesn't Channel 5 air NBC's prime-time shows in HDTV? Aren't CBS' Bengals games on Channel 12 in HDTV? CET doesn't broadcast in HD? Why hasn't Channel 9 consumer guru John Matarese investigated this claim? (Maybe he's waiting on the research to be completed by his partners at Consumer Reports?) Where's the Troubleshooter when you need him? Somebody call Tom Sussi!)
Yes, it's sweeps, when the newscasts are filled with special investigations and reports. Brace yourself, we've got 28 days of this stuff.... and then things will return to normal.